Driving Lessons
by Loopstagirl
Summary: When Parker refused to take Lady Penelope out in the car, Scott knew the only gentlemanly thing to do was offer instead.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights belong to their respective owners._

_This one was inspired by Penny's driving in Vault of Death. I don't think I've had this much fun writing something for quite a while, I really hope you enjoy it._

* * *

Scott stretched back and glanced around with a satisfied smile. Considering they lived a life of luxury on the island - when they weren't rushing out to save the world - he didn't think he would get the same feeling of contentment in a manor house in England. It was cold, there was a dampness in the air he never experienced anywhere else but England and there was far too much pink decorating the room.

But he had a steaming mug of coffee in his hand – where Parker had whisked it up from, he had no idea. Penny had looked horrified there was an alternative available to tea – and there was a fire just to his left. Virgil had been given permission to play the piano and Alan was off exploring somewhere. Scott felt as if he could just fall asleep if he sat here for much longer.

Lady Penelope had managed to get her friends at the bank to pull a few strings. As far as Scott was aware, they had hired out the helipad the 'birds had landed on, put screens up around it and paid enough that no questions were asked. Penny had decided that since they were in England, it would be awfully rude if they shot off home without coming for tea at the very least. It wasn't often the Tracys got a change of scenery – not to relax in, anyway – and after a quick conference with Base, permission had been granted for them to stay until the next morning.

"h'I am sorry, Milady."

"I should say so. Honestly, Parker, there was no need to shout."

"But there was h'a tree, Madam."

"And there still is a tree, you'll note."

Scott caught Virgil's eye as the voices came floating into the room long before their owners. Scott had never heard Parker so ruffled and he knew why. Scott might not have found out precisely why Penny had taken so long to get to London, but he had heard her demanding that Parker take her out in the car a little earlier. Scott had assumed for a drive – until he heard a screech of tyres, a yelp from Parker and had looked out of the window to see a flattened rosebush and the car veering dangerously down the drive.

He had always wondered why Penny never drove herself. Now, it seemed, he knew precisely why. She technically knew how, but putting that into practice seemed to be a bit beyond the aristocrat. It didn't help Parker was very protective of the Rolls Royce and certainly was not the most patient of teachers.

Their hostess came sweeping into the room, looking as if she had just been for a stroll rather than terrorising the English countryside. Parker followed her in, pale and shaky. Virgil was quick to get the man sitting down before he fell and Scott wondered if he was going to be sick. He certainly looked it, even as he shook his head repeatedly and muttered something along the lines of `never again` under his breath.

"Nice drive, Lady Penelope?" Scott asked innocently, trying to keep the smile from his face. Penny patted her hair as she sat down opposite him.

"Quite pleasant, thank you, Scott. I wished to have remained out for longer, only Parker seemed to be experiencing a funny turn."

"I bet." Scott smirked into his cup as Virgil shook his head at him. Scott knew his brother was telling him to change the conversation before Parker actually passed out from the horror of what he had been put through. But Scott wasn't used to sitting around doing nothing and he certainly had no intention of spending his whole time in England sitting in a manor house far too pink for his taste and drinking tea.

"Tell you what, Penny, I'll come out with you. I've always wanted to try a Rolls Royce, maybe I can give you some pointers?"

"Scott…" Virgil groaned, but he didn't seem to know what else he could say considering Penny's face had lit up with an excitement even her usual cool exterior couldn't hide. Scott drained his cup, winked at his brother and hurried outside. Parker wordlessly held out the keys as Scott passed, allowing the pilot to take them off him.

It was clear Parker had no intention of coming along for the ride this time.

Used to magnificent machinery, Scott could appreciate the workmanship that had gone into the car, not to mention Parker's careful maintenance of it. Overlooking the colour – Scott was beginning to think he would see pink burnt into the back of his eyelids if they remained here much longer – he let his hand run along it, a whistle sliding between his teeth.

"Shall we?" Penny had swept from the house in a far more graceful manner than Scott. No doubt she didn't feel the excitement of examining the gleaming bodywork of the car the way Scott did. He nodded, unlocking it before sliding in.

"Other side, Scott."

"I knew that." Rather than getting out, Scott simply climbed over, catching his foot on the gear stick as he finally slotted into the driver's seat. Placing the key in the ignition, he didn't turn it but let his hands run over the wheel. Penny calmly got in behind him. Somehow, it seemed even if she was supposed to be taking pointers from him, it wouldn't do for a Lady to sit in the front of the car without good reason. Scott took a moment to glance at where everything was and let his feet feel for the pedals.

It was only when three met his feet did he truly acknowledge the gear stick he had stumbled over.

He had never driven stick before.

"Whenever you are ready." Penny had settled herself into the back and Scott swallowed. He could fly the fastest machine known to man. There was no way he was about to be defeated by a car. He knew it in theory, it was just never something he had done.

Turning the key, Scott forgot the issue for a moment at the sound of the engine.

"Just listen to her," he cried in jubilance.

"Very good, Scott. But you can hardly give me pointers with us sitting idly in front of the house now, can you?" Realising even Penny had managed to get the car off the drive, Scott forced the car into gear. It lurched forward and instantly stalled. Penny had the tact to be looking out of the window and failing to notice they weren't moving.

Telling himself the car just needed a gentle touch, Scott tried again. Forcing his feet to move slowly, he grinned in success as the car started moving away. It had to be smoother than Penny's, for there had been no screech of tyres. At least, not that he had heard. However, the car was peacefully quiet inside and it wouldn't have surprised him if it was soundproofed enough he wouldn't be able to hear the tyres screaming in protest at him anyway.

He managed to get it down the drive relatively smoothly.

"She just needs a gentle hand, that's all, Penny."

"I was hardly rough," Penny protested and Scott grinned. The thought of the aristocrat being anything but gentle was ludicrous. But as the car began picking up speed, Scott realised he could hear the engine making a strange grating noise and the car beginning to shudder.

"I do believe one usually changes gear," Penny said mildly and Scott made to slam the car into gear again. And, naturally, stalled.

"And you mentioned something about a gentle hand?"

Feeling a flush beginning to work its way up his neck, Scott forced himself to ignore the fact he had a passenger. He wasn't even letting himself think about the fact that he was supposed to be giving Penny lessons cross his mind. Starting the car again, he put every ounce of attention onto keeping his movements smooth. This time, they made it off the drive and he successfully changed gear.

Scott was grinning in success by the time he made it into fifth gear. He hadn't stalled it since the drive and the car was almost purring along. He had a feeling he was beginning to get the hang of this.

"It's all about keeping calm," he told Penny, easing off as they reached a bend and only just keeping his feet still enough for the car to change gear without stalling again. It shuddered, but Scott managed to coax her through it.

"And driving on the left side of the road."

"What?"

"The left, Scott. We drive on the left."

"I knew that." Scott jerked the wheel as he spoke, pretending that he had been on the left all along and Penny had just got it wrong. But the steering wheel was more sensitive than he was used to. Or perhaps it was just because he didn't have strong winds buffeting at him. But rather than just drifting to the correct side of the road, the car jerked wildly and almost spun. Scott had to fight to wrestle for control.

He was panting by the time that he was going in a straight line again, his heart beating as hard as it did when they were on a rescue and against the clock. A hill rose in front of them and it was only when they were most of the way up it and coming to an almost standstill that Scott realised he should have changed gear again.

"C'mon," he growled, trying to will the car to keep moving and not roll backwards. It did continue forward, although only just. Scott had never been so relived to crest a hill before. For a moment, he brought the car to a stop, cut the engine and took a moment to just breathe.

"Is everything alright, Scott? Only we seem to have a line of traffic building behind us."

Swearing, Scott started the engine, panicked, stalled and eventually managed to get down the hill and into a layby. If they had almost gone out the other side of the layby and into a field, Penny was enough of a Lady that she didn't mention it. The line of traffic – blocked from where they couldn't see past him to get around on the top of the hill – flowed past smoothly. Scott wasn't sure if he was imaging the smiling and laughing faces or whether it was his own mind jeering at him.

"Do you mind if we go back, Penny? Only I told Virgil…" Scott had no idea what he was supposed to have told Virgil. He was just impressed he managed to keep his voice calm and the irritation out from it. Glancing in the mirror, he saw that Penny didn't look the slightest bit ruffled. Not the way he was feeling, anyway.

"That's perfectly alright. It's almost time for tea as it is," Penny responded smoothly. Forcing himself to keep calm, Scott restarted the engine.

Perhaps because he was admitting defeat, but the journey home was smooth. He didn't stall it, he didn't over-steer and he was beginning to feel quite calm by the time they pulled into the driveway again. He hoped Virgil was looking out of the window and that his brother would see he could handle this.

But as he went to change gear again, Scott completely forgot what he was supposed to be doing and somehow managed to put the car in reverse. He continued moving, wondering why the house was getting further away again.

"Not to alarm you, Scott, dear, but there is an iron gate coming up behind us," Penny said mildly. Scott jerked the wheel, spun the car and somehow put it back in first gear in one movement. Taking his feet off the pedals, he just let the car stay still for a moment, wondering if that was the sort of move Alan normally pulled off.

Scott cut the engine.

"You know what? I think Parker could do with a little more exercise these days. How about we leave the car here and he can walk more than a few steps to bring it around for you?"

"Sounds perfect."

Scott opened his door, having a feeling that Penny just didn't want him to try and move the car again. Remembering his manners at the last moment, he held Penny's door for her and watched as she swept up the drive and into the house. Hopefully her calm manner would make the others believe it had gone well.

But Scott found that his legs were shaking and he had to put a hand on the car in order to keep himself upright.

"You okay?" Virgil had emerged from the house while Scott wasn't looking and the older brother scowled at the playful smile dancing over Virgil's face.

"What has she said?"

"Only you went for a nice pleasant drive down a country road before returning in time for tea."

Scott sagged in relief. Penny hadn't given away his secret. Virgil, however, was still smiling.

"And then she ordered camomile tea. You and I both know Penny doesn't do that unless she wants to relax."

Scott glared. It didn't matter that Penny hadn't said anything. Virgil knew. He knew not only from Penny's reaction, but the way his brother was standing out here willingly himself to not look so green.

Scott knew that he was never going to live it down.


End file.
